Testimony, Part 2

When I was going through all those things, it was one of the hardest times in my life. My mother had died just a few months before and I was devastated. Few people knew exactly what I was going through. They knew about the headaches, but not many knew about the memory loss, the depression and the panic attacks. On the outside I looked like one of the strongest people there was, but on the inside I was dying. God ultimately healed me and showed me just exactly how faithful He is.

That was about 7 years ago, but it's funny how doors can be opened to the same old things.

Marty and I have both been under a great deal of stress lately. I felt like I was handling it very well. I tried to stand in faith for every thing that came against us. Apparently, again, that was just on the outside.

Right after Christmas I began having chest pains and having trouble breathing. My doctor was very concerned that it could be heart related. Both of my parents died from heart disease. All of the tests for my heart came back fine. The doctor moved on to other things to check out. Again, nothing. In the midst of this I went back to what I knew to do. Prayer. The pastors prayed, the church prayed. I had to trust God. It was very frustrating. Every test they did on me came back perfect. I was confronted again with the thing that scared me the most. Depression, stress, panic attacks. I decided to deal with it without fear. I am on medication now and it's o.k. God is helping me and I am really doing great. God is so much bigger than the stressors in our life. We have got to make a choice to press into Him. We must not let the stress in our lives be bigger than our God.

Testimony

Last night at church Pastor had me come up and share how God had healed me and what He had done for me. I was caught a little bit off guard. I shared, but after I got home last night I realized there were many things that I left out that needed to be said. It may take a couple of posts to get it all.

About 7 years ago I started getting horrible pain in my head and also began having memory loss. It was really bad. We went to our family doctor who sent me to a neurologist. They did an MRI and blood work and couldn’t find anything that would be causing any of it. It was very frustrating. I thought I was going crazy. I think Marty thought I was going crazy. Marty and I met with Pastor several times.

I was always brought up with the idea that depression was totally a state of mind and it didn’t have to be that way. You could control it yourself and to take medicine for it meant you were really crazy. It got so bad that one time Pastor and I were talking and he asked me if he had a brain tumor in one hand and depression in the other, which would I pick. I must have been crazy then because I picked brain tumor. What was I thinking! I was so scared of being depressed and the thought that I might have some sort of mental problem. This was a really big deal to me. This went on for a while. Probably not as long as it seemed, but I felt like my world was crashing down around me.

We prayed and prayed. Pastor told me I needed to get the Word in me to help me. I decided the best way to do that was to be able to see healing and faith scriptures all around me. I got 3x5 cards and wrote every scripture I could find about healing and faith. I taped them up all over our house. On the bathroom mirror, in the bedroom, in the kitchen, at work. I was determined to build my faith. I wasn’t really getting any better, but we just kept praying.

One Sunday evening we had been to a work picnic. When we left I just really felt like we needed to go to church. I knew we were going to be very late, but I just knew we needed to go. We got there and the service was almost over. Pastor called for anyone who wanted to pray to come to the alter. I just couldn’t do it, but I went and sat on the front pew. Marty went to the alter and prayed. I just sat there with my head in my hands and then Marty sat down beside me, very excited with his Bible in his hand. He had it opened to James 5:14 "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord." Marty looked at me and asked if that was o.k. I just looked at him and said o.k. I really didn't know what to think. He rounded up all the pastors and they prayed and anointed me with oil. A lot of oil. When we were done, I still had a headache, but I knew things would be better. A couple weeks after that during a church service I was completely delivered and healed. God had been working not only on my body, but my heart.

That’s not the end of the story. To be continued . . .

SORRY

I have to apologize. I already missed it! My computer's been messed up at work and then we were so swamped I just didn't get to post yesterday. So much for my every day/every other day posting. I will have to do better!!!!!! Like anything else, it's hard to get in the grove of something that you decide you are going to do. Especially if you are not disciplined. It's just like the things of God. We make a decision to press in and to read our Bible more and to pray more, but the things of life sometimes get in our way. Again, it goes back to choices. We can choose to make the time and take the time to read our Bibles and pray or not.

Lord, I pray that you help me to make better choices and press in closer to you. Help me to read your Word more faithfully and to pray more for others. I love you Lord.

MY VALENTINE

Most of you know Marty. Very few of you know who he truly is. Marty is one of the most compassionate and loving people I know. He is a servant through and through and always wants to do his best for everyone. He is a very smart man and can read a huge book very quickly and remember it all. (that really aggravates me sometimes because I can NEVER keep up). I really admire that quality about him. He loves his job and the kids and other teachers he works with. He has been able to share his knowledge and show his compassion on a daily basis with these kids. Many of the kids he works with are handicapped and he wasn't quite sure he was cut out to work with them, but they have worked their way into his heart and he loves them so much. He wants to see them succeed and will do whatever it takes to make it happen. He's been able to use his cooking abilities and computer skills at school and has been able to teach a cooking class. He absolutely LOVES that. He is an awesome father and a wonderful grandpa. He loves our kids no matter what and our grandkids melt his heart. Marty loves me with all his heart. He has been the best husband a woman could ever have. He has been there with me through some of the worst times in my life and some of the absolute best times. We have been able to share things and opportunities and I am so blessed by that. Marty is romantic, thoughtful, caring, tender hearted and the love of my life. I am so proud of the way he has listened to God and pressed in even when it looked like everything was crashing down around him. He is my inspiration and truly "My Valentine". I love you honey!

BLOGGING

I was told yesterday that I was not very good at keeping up on my blog. SO . . . I have decided that I am going to try to blog at least every other day, if not every day!!!!! (I have to give myself a little leeway) I just always have trouble thinking about what to write about. I guess it doesn't have to be some deep subject matter, just whatever's on my heart or in my head. I am really going to try to do better at this!!!! Just keep checking my blog, you never do know what I will be writing about from day to day!!!! Have a great Monday!!!!!!

Buckshot

This is Buckshot or more affectionately called Bucky . . . Bucky-doo . . . Shotbuck . . . Deerslug . . . or Stupid Dog. He is officially my dog, but he loves Marty much more. He is a pest, but a faithful pest. He will snuggle and be there with you whenever you want to lay down with a blanket on the couch. Sometimes I think he thinks he's a person. He is a silly bouncy dog that makes me smile. I love my Bucky!

HAPPY

Why can't everyone just choose to be happy???? Life is so short and God has created each new day for us. We have got to make a conscious choice to be happy in the things we have and in where we are and use each experience to make us better and stronger. Put a smile on our faces even when we don't really feel like it and let God shine through us regardless of our situation. God can move whether we move with Him or not, but wouldn't it be better to go along for the ride???? Just my thoughts. Be happy and have a great day!

I'm Doing Great!

For the past month or so I have been going through some physical problems. I've been through tests, and different medications and we've been praying continually. I have had people ask me every time they see me how I am feeling and how I am doing. For a long time even though I wanted to just say that I was doing fine, I couldn't lie, so I just had to keep saying that I wasn't feeling too great and for them to keep praying. Well, today someone asked me and I could honestly say that I am feeling and doing great! I'm feeling better and I can really feel God moving through our family. I would like to thank everyone for all of their prayers. God is so good and He is faithful. Be blessed.

YEAH FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I just have to say that I am SO glad it's Friday and also that it's almost time to go home! It's really not been such a hard week, I just have things to do at home and I would love to be there doing it!!!!! I guess that's what the weekends are for, huh???

Be blessed!